Just dropped by to say hi!

Hello! There is so much I've written on this page when I was in school, it serves as a little reminder of the journey I embarked on to get to where I am today.

I started this page to emulate a senior from school who inspired me very much through their writing. It was just extremely real. I would eagerly look forward to a post on that blog. I remember like it was just yesterday!

Then, after battling a lot of self doubt and hesitation came Times and Winds. A place for my thoughts.

My friends would often tell me that for someone whose very cheerful in life, my writing is quite grim and profound. I was never able to answer them then but deep inside, I've always been extremely poetic. I've always loved interpretation, and I still do. Poetry makes you think the way you do. It's everything that you're connected to and feel for, that builds your thoughts.

Today, I spent sometime reading my own thoughts from my past, and it's a feeling I can't explain. Having said that, I don't want to change anything (not even the grammatical errors).

Times and winds have changed a lot lately, but this is where it all started.

There was a little pause, but today we begin again.

Ranting

Where is that glitter and gold you wanted to see in life by now?
I'm almost done with my first year of law school and time seems to be playing a merciless game with me. Sometimes it runs fast and sometimes, slow as ever. Home seems like that luxury a few have but life seems like an adventure. 
This year, so much is going to change for a lot of people out there. I see everyone preparing for these hundred million tests and I see myself in them. However, once you make it, it all seems indifferent. 
I'm writing this without any actual purpose or meaning behind. 
Hope everyone has a wonderful day with wonderful things happening to you.

Little Stories.

Hi. I'm back. It's been forever since I wrote something and that's really weird. I'm here in my hostel room and when I read my old posts, life has changed very much.
School was so different, school was so much more easier. Time went by and life's changes did effect us, but not in a huge manner. I miss home. I miss my family. I remember how eager all of us were to get out of there, get to a new place and start off everything afresh. I was one of those people. I believed that your whole life needs some momentum and you can't achieve that but sitting in one place. Maybe, I was wrong, maybe I'm still right.
Only time will tell.

I'm on Tumblr.

http://dreamingaboutforever9.tumblr.com/

:)

..Endings?

I don't really understand what it is about endings that leave you so confused. Is it the excitement of what's going to come next, or the distress of leaving something imperfect, yet beautiful behind. Tomorrow's my last board exam. It's the last time I'll ever go to school in my uniform. The uniform I adore and the school I love immensely. I know its really not the time to think about endings, its almost 2 am and I have my Commerce paper tomorrow, technically today. But I can't help but think about how HPS is/was/will be everything that signifies truth to me. I'm obsessed with that place.I knew this day was coming, but little did I know that this is how I would feel. So desolate.

Endings.. The paths that lead you to new beginnings.
I don't know where this path is going to take me, don't know what obstacles are going to come ahead..
All I know is, my journey in HPS was inexplicably perfect and I can't even break down how much I'm gonna miss everything about it.
Today a part of me feels very empty.
No more shopping for new uniforms, no more school food and no more going to that wonderful place that makes me so happy.
That feeling when you get when you walk into school, when you see that building, when you see your friends, your teachers.. All those people you love.

12 years of unforgettable memories.
Can that feeling ever be replaced?
I look at it all, and wonder.

Its funny how when all my doors shut down I come back to my blog to release all my bottled up emotions. Well, its that time of the year again. Well, technically, its in a month. Exactly a month but the pressure's A LOT this time. When I read all my old posts now, it seems kinda funny how I over reacted for my 10th boards. But these, these need some serious attention. I have my pre-finals tomorrow and I threw my phone in my closet and deactivated my facebook account (Crowd Cheering!)
It does feel good. Sorta. I don't know.

I'm addicted to tv. I love dancing alone. I feel like dying when someone walks into the room when I'm doing that. Oh yeah, and coffee. What would I do without you?
This is pretty much my life now.

To everyone out there, who is stuck in the same situation as me, there is no hope. Oh wait, there is this picture I came across on Tumblr. Hope this helps. The girls, at least. This is what's been keeping me going. And coffee! Oh my god, did I mention coffee?

This is what my story's about.

Its funny how I've been in this place all my life, this place I call home.
My life, those memories, mistakes and growing up. I never really realized how much this place means to me.
Today, when its finally my time to leave, I see myself in others. THAT used to be my life, now its just a partial view. I see everyone sing the school song and when they do, I can't help but to notice their smiles. It just makes me understand how much I'm gonna miss this place. These trees, class rooms, buildings and teachers. Every corner that remarks a story of us growing up, growing as a family.
These fields, these large fields, they tease me. I don't mind it really.
I like my school like this.
I like HPS like this.
Huge, safe and loved.

God bless this school and all who herein dwell.

Happy Realization?

I just realized that I last updated my blog over a year ago. I don't even know how I lost touch. Well, school does keep me busy and life over the past year has been more than exciting. Maybe these are the perks of being 16. You learn so much that you feel like a butterfly. Okay, I don't know why I said butterfly. I totally forgot why I even started blogging in the first place. It always made me feel better. Blurting out whatever I felt like, about everything. Now that I realized that, I also understand how wonderful it makes me feel.

Sports day in a couple of days and this is my last year in HPS. Everyday is important. So what should I do?

Read a million books, listen to music and have fun while school life lasts. That's my plan of action for the next couple of months.

Oh yeah, and study.

Love and believe.

Its funny how times change. How 'I love you' suddenly becomes 'I loved you'. How the favorite thing you used to do, is just not your favorite anymore. School can be really crazy sometimes, but there's always so much to learn. I learnt that if you believe in hatred, there isn't gonna be any progress. Everyone hates me. Well, if thats what you believe that happens to you. You can believe that your mother hates you and she will. You can believe that your best friend hates you and she will. So, at the end of the day what matters is what YOU believe. So try to live in love. I had this favorite person I used to tell all my things to. Everything. My best friend. But I can't describe how little things ruin what we have. I don't blame fate, but only if I could have that back. But I know, I believe that love still exists. I know that this amazing person can't forget me, I do.
"Aishwarya, all you have to do is believe in yourself cause I do"-I'll never forget that. 
Now back to my love-hate theory, I believe that love never dies. If you stopped doing something you love cause you think its stupid, its high time you do it again and believe that people love you for what you are. Only then will you love yourself. 
Though I've lost some amazing people as my because of the mistakes I made or cause of fate, I'll never forget how they made me feel. Cause if it weren't for them, I'd never be what I am today, I'd never be what I'm gonna be tomorrow. 


I believe in love. I believe in ME.

SO true.

I found this on one of my friend's Facebook page.

:)

Sometimes.

Sometimes, even if the whole universe is going against you or even if it just seems that way there's always one person who goes against the universe, standing by you. 

Have you ever felt this way?

Sometimes, even if your whole day seems like such a mess, there's always one person who has the ability to make you smile at the end of the day.
Sometimes, even if your life is a wreck, there's always this one person who can make it alright.
Sometimes, even if you feel ugly, there always one person who thinks you're beautiful.
Sometimes, even if it feels like you have no friends, there's one person who'll never disown you.
Sometimes, even if you feel like you're alone, there's this one person who'll prove you wrong.
Sometimes, even if you've given up on yourself, there's always this one person who'll still believe in you.
Sometimes, even if you lose, there's always this one person to whom you'll be a winner.
Sometimes, even if you're hated by the world, there's this one person who'll always love you.


Cause sometimes, everybody might need that someone and that someone can be YOU.

We Love Coldplay.

What a song!
Mylo Xyloto, I can't wait.

A Story. A movie. A life.

Have you ever watched a movie and felt glad that you're alive and thankful to god that you were born as yourself? No? Then you must definately watch 'Turtles Can Fly'. I watch many movies, everyone does and when we do there are certain movies that you can't take your mind off. Not that they're disturbing, but for them being so factful. I was home alone the other night and it was 12pm approximately and I wasn't sleepy. So as usual, I turn on the tv and flip through the channels and suddenly I found something interesting!
A lover of Cinema watches all sorts of movies, all languages. Let me tell you that. So then, this Kurdish movie was coming, the movie I was talking about earlier? Turtles Can Fly. 
The movie had started way before I'd even decided to turn on the tv so I started watching the movie at a point when this little girl was working along with her armless brother, collecting landmines. 
This movie was shot in 2004, apparently when the whole Saddam Hussain controversy was going on during the war between USA and Iraq. The scene then changes to this little boy who's name is Satillite which I later found out was because of his interest in technology and also cause he fixed the TV Satillites and that his actual name was something else. He is also the leader for all the homeless refugees who under his guidance work for making land mines and accept his word as law. Everybody knows that the United States is preparing for war,and a satellite dish is the only  way to find out when this may happen. Satellite speaks a little English, which makes him all the more important. The elders frequently ask him to translate, not realizing he does not know as much as he thinks he does.The little girl's family that has newly joined the refugee also work under him.
This boys develops an interst for this girl who is rumored to be clairvoyant, and a toddler boy. 

Argin

Satellite argues with the armless boy, who knocks him down by butting him with his head, but tries to do favors for the girl, who regards him warily. Henkov is missing his arms from an accident, and supposedly has the power to predict the future and because of that, many of Satellite's children flock to him. 




The girl, Argin doesn't reciprocate rather she is quiet through out the whole movie and thats what adds that sophesticated touch to this movie. The girl is always seems as if something's suppressing her urge to express herself. She's quiet but there are a lot of things that keep going around in her head. She keeps asking her armless brother as to why they are still waiting at that place and not leaving.She looks at the little child as a burden on her. She's unable to understand why she has to take care of something that is not even hers. She keeps trying to push the baby away from her life as she thinks its not her kid but in the ending it is revealed to us that it is indeed her own son and that she had been raped a few years before.Satellite saves the child once when he was almost killed by a land mine but the second time, Argin ties it to a stone and drops it into a spring. There's a lot more about Satellite and the armless brother too but I was so engrossed in seeing the whole movie from the girl's point of view that when it ended, I didn't even realize.
In the end, because of her desire to always break free, she takes her life. Her slippers are found by her armless brother on the edge of a cliff who is too depressed as he'd also discovered the
infant's body tied to a stone in the spring moments before. (Which was done by Argin)


This movie is not something that is unusual or amazing. It is just truthful. It has certain elements in it that make it seem so real and thats what I loved about it. Innocence entwined with violence and seriousness of the whole situation just makes your heart beat at a faster rate than it usually does.This movie basically revolves around only a group of chilren, refugee children but it has so much in store to teach. It is an interesting concept that revolves around the primary pscycology of children. War-affected children. What's going on in their heads? How is it helping them deal with their previous experiences in life, how do they feel about themselves. It's so beautifully shot that for a second you just forget about yourself and are consumed into the movie. 


There are so many people suffering in this world, so many people dying. There're people trying so hard to live and we give up on little things so easily. We're always looking for an easy way out when we're aren't able to understand or realize rather that there are people for whom all the ways have been closed but they're still struggling and fighting. 
So next time you think about you and your life being a mess, just watch this movie.
And yeah, please do tell me how you feel. I'd love to know.

Inspiration?

He told me to close my eyes and tell me whats the first thing I see. So, I did. I saw
wind chimes! Dancing to the wind. "That's your inspiration!", he said. I laughed. WIND CHIMES? 
What am I supposed to write about wind chimes?


Yes, its been a long time since I posted anything and I really do miss writing. Writing is something I love devoid of giving importance to the dilemma that I keep having weather I'm good at it, or not. Everyone has this point in their life when all they want to do is break free, break free from all those things that have been stopping them from living life the way they want to. I'm just a school girl now, I might not have so much to complain. But there are
a lot of things that do disturb me!

Friends, family, school and to top the list, exams! Don't these things seem easy? All you need is a little concentration and focus towards all these things are life would be so effortless, wouldn't it? Well, these are some things which can look like the most easiest
things and be the most complex ones or vice versa. Its all an illusion!
Okay, I'm done complaining!
See? Writing helps me break free! When people write, they're basically talking to themselves but they somehow feel wise that they're sharing it with the world and not just yapping to themselves like retards. Yes, it makes me feel that way. Wise, I mean. Okay, enough of me and my love for writing.
The past two months of school has been crazy! From drama-soul searching-dispute settling-tears-joy-exams, it has been something that reminded me I'm human and also special at the same time! Which is good, I think.
I found some answers to the numerous questions I had and have some new questions have come up in the thought process which I'm trying to seek answers for.
Yesterday, my exams ended and finally have some time to think about stuff, set things right. 


But right now, as I'm writing this, I feel like those wind chimes! Careless about the amount of wind trying to push them away, they were still dancing making the most cohrent sounds.
So, that brings me back to my so called inspiration. The wind chimes signified a vague desciption of liberation. I've had so much going on in my life and suddenly I feel unconcerned about all that. Everything I thought that mattered is suddenly nothing.


This moment, I feel free.


Close your eyes and find your inspiration trick works!

A Memory.

Okay. So I didn't really have a bomb picture of all of us or something but I think this is pretty decent. :)
This is how we began the year. 

They're back.

Its been almost FIVE months since I've written an exam. Board exams suck the life out of you and once they were over, life had come back to me.
I didn't actually write since school started. Except for the super EMO post below. Just ignore that. School's been great lately. There're some super awesome people around and the past two months have passed like WOOOSH. I have exams tomorrow and that too, all super new subjects! Accounts is CRAZY but its bearable.
Economics and Commerce-BORING. We don't have Ev.ed anymore which is sad as well as nice.
The only reason I'm posting this is because I'm SUPER happyyyy! 




Gone are those days when I used to think of dying before my science exams.
(I don't miss you. Please don't come back.)


EXAM TOMORROW! 
*Jumps and runs to search for books*

The End. The Beginning. I'm Lost.

Why do beautiful things have to end? May it be a song, a movie or a phase. I'm now in class 11 and I already feel like I've lived a lifetime. Life has not been a bed or roses for me but it definitely had that breath-taking essence in it. I got to experience a perfectly normal life and for the first time, I have nothing to complain. However, I feel like an era has ended. HPS. I still remember the first day I walked into that school. But the day I did, I had no idea about how my life would turn out to be. I was this snobby innocent kid who lived in her own world. But as you grow up, you've got to share your world with others. What's a life if you live alone, right? You make friends.

Random. :)

My world kept getting bigger and better and suddenly came this day when half of my world is leaving me. Yes, end of a phase. They say that the years of growing up are the best years of your life and you'll never forget them. But till now, I never really knew what the true meaning of growing up meant. It means change and adapting. I have spent 10 years in this school so far and every moment was amazing.Made some beautiful friends and shared so many beautiful things with them. Every corner has a story. Most of my friends are leaving school and its feels strange. I can't really imagine school without them. The lunch table's gonna be filled with new people, I'll have a new class, its basically a new start. 
Everyone has gone through this feeling in their life that they're leaving this huge part of them behind whenever there's a new beginning of a journey. Well, that's how I feel at this very moment. I feel my heart, heavy and empty at the same time. In a way, its challenging, how is my life gonna be without them? and in a way, its a new start, a second chance to mend my mistakes I'd done in the past. So thereby, I end this beautiful chapter in my life which will never be forgotten. 
All those people leaving school, I'm gonna miss you guys so much. Meghana Kuppa-especially you. Thanks for always being there and I know you always will. 
AND, good luck with your new chapters. Just go out there and show them what you're made of. 
Why does this have to end? Just like after every full stop arises a new sentence, every ending symbolises time for a new beginning.


Oh wait, I forgot. People coming back to HPS with me, lets have the time of our life's and make sure each and every day of these two years shall be worth remembering! Let's rock it, completely.

School starts on 15th and I can't wait. :)

Random is cool. ;)

10 things I love at the moment. (Yes, I'm bored)

You tube videos. I mean. Not the ones that are perfectly shot about celebrity stuff but the normal people ones. I just LOVE how people out there are showcasing their talent and creating space for themselves. Real cool.

Twitter-I never understood it before but now, I'm addicted. Its super awesome. I love my tweethood. :)

My new phone-HTC is supposed to be SUPER complicated. Well thats what people have always told. Well, it took me three hours to figure out how to delete a message but, other than that, yeah. I think its quite nice. So far so good.

Rain-Okay. Its nothing new about me. I've always loved the rain but this time, its not because of my attachment to it. Its only because of the heat. ITS SO HOT! Going out makes you go mad.

Mangoes-In contrast to the above, the only reason ANYONE loves summer is for mangoes. I can never get sick of them. I had the sweetest mango ever yesterday! What else can I say? It isn't called the king of all fruits for no reason.

Writing-Though I've always loved writing this summer's making me quite the philosophical one. Thanks to all those episodes of One Tree Hill I've been watching. Man, that show just strikes you on your heart. Its a good show. Lumiere and World Movies too. People don't watch much of foreign movies but I think they're really educational and beautiful. Just try watching them. They can make you smile and cry at the same time. (A movie lover's telling you)

Sugarcane Juice- Do I look like someone who'll die for food now? I guess I do. Wait. Sugarcane juice is a beverage. So I guess its okay right? I'm talking to myself now. A day out in the hot sun and then a glass of sugarcane juice-takes you straight to heaven. I love it.

'I love you, you know that right?' I love this line. Sigh. I love cinema.

Chris Gayle-This summer we've had too much of cricket because of the IPL starting as soon as the World Cup ended but watching Chris Gayle on fire was one thing I'll always cherish. Though the Hyderabad home team didn't live upto our expectations, I still watched other teams play and was gone to a different world watching this man smash every delivery. Chris Gayle, all hail.

My Friends-Board results can make you space out and mine certainly did. I was depressed and thank you guys for bringing me back. Thanks for all those talks. They somewhat did help me. (Why am I so lucky?) Thanks for being there when I needed you the most.

These are my random 10. What are yours?

(I made the text colorful so that it doesn't seem boring! I'm SO smart. ;)

You made me.

8th Grade! Teacher's day, if I'm not wrong? 2008.

The only sane Picture of 7th grade!  

My friends are one of the best things that have ever happened to me. Really. I don't even know how all of us came this far. I still remember the first day of school and Meghana trying to annoy me in Telugu class back in first grade (I didn't forget that yet). Me being jealous of Greeshma's Bugs Bunny water bottle and Anushka's costume in the second class concert. All of us ACTUALLY became friends back in 5th grade when we just did. God knows how! But, thank god, we did. From then, how time passed I can hardly remember! All I remember is, 7th grade was the best year and we still love it. The between the class talks (Though I was never in your class), the parking lot walks, the TV  show discussions, the picture obsessions, movies, girls room gossips, crazy text messaging, hanging out, the lunch hall fun and even when I got into trouble, you guys were always there! Shivani, I didn't forget you. I never will. Parents watch you grow but friends, grow up with you and I think that's beautiful. We did fight sometimes, there was this phase when we didn't talk to each other much but nothing really broke us.


When you're a junior, you're always inspired by your seniors. You want to be like them someday and start imagining yourself in their shoes. I was like that. I still am and I'm not scared to say it. So if you're inspired by someone, I think its totally normal, just don't copy though. Now, we are seniors. Hopefully, it'll still be 'we'. HPS is a place where I got everything from. Lessons and Love as I call it. Inside and outside class as well. For all the 'inside the class, I must thank my teachers, but outside, it was our world, a different one. Call me weird, but those are where most of my good times lie. 

And us, NOW. 2011.

I still remember the first day of our Senior School. We were so excited. We were feeling all grown up and all. I know that every teenager has been through that day! One side, not wanting to grow up and the other wanting to make some place of their own in the world. Well, we had our moments, so many. I can't name every possible thing we did together cause I'd probably die and my page would be over-crowded with words but as they say, 'We many not remember days, but we remember moments' and every moment with you guys is worth remembering. So, now that boards are done and we have our results coming out soon, we MAY end  up in different schools (hopefully not) but I want you to know that you'll always have me by your side when you need me.


I love you.


The other day, a junior said, "You guys are the coolest gang ever!" Sounds a little crazy but looks like we made some difference after all! ;)

I'm gonna die! :| I think.

Okay! So its the 8th already! 10 more days for the ICSE results to come out and I have a VERY strong feeling that I'm gonna die! I did them pretty okay, but I dunno! I keep getting nightmares and trust me! They're not good, they're SO scary that its not even funny. Exaggeration? Well, maybe a little but, they ARE scary! I didn't screw them up but I didn't ace them as well. Well, actually I'll get to know that in ten days. Ten days. Ten days! TEN DAYS?? Okaay! I'm going crazy! And this time, eating is not helping me! Cause whenever I'm sad, I eat and I feel alright. Now, I need some serious help! I think. Oh my god! Sorry about my confused state of mind.


How I hate nightmares! :|